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weneedhelp

Double Exposure [Teen Titans (v3)/Ultimate X-Men/Buffy the Vampire Slayer]

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May. 23rd, 2005 | 12:48 am
mood: crazycrazy
posted by: apathocles in weneedhelp

This... is all fox1013's fault. She assigned me Tim Drake, Ultimate Bobby Drake, and Xander Harris for the 24-Hour Three-Way Crossover Crackathon. And, like a fool, I obeyed.

Do I really need to warn about the crack involved?

So, yeah. TTv3/Ult-X/BtVS (X-heavy), with a vaguely-implied fourth crossover. Because I CAN. No characterisation, no continuity. Whee. PG-13. 554 words.

(One day, I will write something in DCverse that doesn't belong in this comm. Really.)





Bobby snaps a buckle into place, and sighs.

He's starting to think that he really hates undercover work.

Of course, he'd been wary from the beginning, to the point of wondering aloud about the ethics of sending an under-aged kid off to work in a strip joint. The Professor'd just given him this look, and although Xavier hadn't spoken -- or thought -- a single word, Bobby'd got the distinct impression that a far worse fate would await him if he refused.

Bastard.

But yeah, there's some mutant woman that Professor Xavier can't quite get a lock on -- mentally slippery, moves fast, seems to know when she's being tracked telepathically. However, it seems that she spends a few hours of every Friday night at the same place, and the Professor wants him to see if he can keep an eye on her, gauge her intentions.

Which is why he's here at The Fabulous Ladies' Night Club, strapping himself into some truly disturbing costume, and cursing what appears to be the current fashion in men's stripping.

At least Al doesn't seem to be doing a whole lot better.

Bobby can't quite work the guy out. About the same age as he is, with obviously-dyed blonde hair and a thing for lurking in the shadows. Seems friendly enough, but incredibly intense. Got this sort of grim determination that, to be honest, scares the shit out of Bobby. He can't imagine why anyone would be so dedicated to working as a stripper, especially since he seems like the last guy on Earth who'd work in a place like this.

Or maybe he's just like that because he's trying to ignore the guy -- what's-his-name, Xander -- who'd been promoted from the kitchen after that Parker kid called in sick. Xander's been babbling away for ten minutes, now, and an eerie calm's settled over Al. He's got the kind of expression that indicates some sort of impending homicidal rampage in the near future, and Bobby makes a note of Al's features so he can help the cops with the Identikit.

'See, this friend of mine says that it's the gold Kryptonite that makes Superman lose his powers, but I'm sure that....'

Al's eyelid twitches ever so slightly.

Annoying as he is, Xander probably doesn't deserve to die -- at least, not today -- and so Bobby decides to step in.

'Guys, we're on in two minutes. You ready?'

Al's entire face seems to twitch, and he turns to face the mirror, checking over his costume.

Bobby can spot the precise moment when his brain snaps like a dry twig.

He can't really blame the guy. If he had to wear that cape, and that cowl with the stupid pointy ears, and those really scary skintight pants with the --

Well, he'd probably be a little non-verbal, too.

The music from out on stage changes, the girls -- and God, a few guys -- start hooting louder, and the emcee starts working his spiel.

Bobby pulls on his visor, and curses at how much the red lens cuts down his vision.

He takes a deep breath and strides towards the stage, half-dragging Al behind him.

He can do this.

He's an X-Man.

He has a duty.

And he's so working on his psychic shields before he gets home.

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Comments {9}

Caius

(no subject)

from: caiusmajor
date: May. 22nd, 2005 05:03 pm (UTC)
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Oh dear. The Fabulous Ladies' Night Club: a new Subreality Cafe!

Wonderful.

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like a vore turducken

(no subject)

from: apathocles
date: May. 23rd, 2005 04:45 pm (UTC)
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*wonders who else she should shove in there for a completely contrived valid reason*

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jamjar

(no subject)

from: jamjar
date: May. 22nd, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
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This is definitely the good crack.

Poor, poor Tim. The worst part is, he's going to have to write a report on this after. And Babs will have it recorded anyway.

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like a vore turducken

(no subject)

from: apathocles
date: May. 23rd, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC)
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Yay!

I first attempted to write this from Tim's POV, actually, but he was just dying from embarassment too much to be vaguely coherent. Possibly because Babs was watching it all live, and giving him a running commentary. Poor boy. *pats him on the head*

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keenai

(no subject)

from: keenai
date: May. 23rd, 2005 01:14 am (UTC)
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I don't know who ANY of these people are (I mean, I do vaguely, but you know what I mean), but this quite amused me. Hee.

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like a vore turducken

(no subject)

from: apathocles
date: May. 23rd, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
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Hee! Excellent. *fingersteeple*

(You are quite possibly the last person I ever expected to read this, by the way. *g*)

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keenai

(no subject)

from: keenai
date: May. 26th, 2005 05:21 pm (UTC)
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I try to read my flist's fics. It's this thing I have. And since Fox linked to it, well, you know. I had to give it a whirl.

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bibliokat

(no subject)

from: bibliokat
date: May. 25th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
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Heehee! I love crossovers!

You are sooooo mean to Tim- first the Batman costume and then this: Possibly because Babs was watching it all live, and giving him a running commentary. He's going to need serious therapy.

I have to know though, if Bobby is Cyclops and Tim is Batman, who is Xander dressed as?

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like a vore turducken

(no subject)

from: apathocles
date: May. 25th, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
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Crack-addled crossovers are a wonderful cure for writer's block, I've found.

Forget the horrible deaths of just about everyone Tim knows -- this is the event that'll push him over into insanity. Oh, yes.

My original thought was that Xander could be Spidey (given that there were those rumours about Nick Brendon playing him all those years ago, as well as Xander and Peter both being total geeks)... but, since I want Ultimate Peter Parker gettin' his groove on in that strip club, too, I guess that option's out.

Personally, I think he's probably dressed as Supes. It would explain his bringing up the Kryptonite again, anyhow....

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